First, I would like to explain my absence. Some very personal and very troubling things having been going on in my life for the past several months. I battled depression, anxiety, rejection, and self-loathing. It was hard, and I don't believe that I've completely recovered from the wounds I received during this time period. However, I know I'm back on track.
I lost sight of a lot of things. I took advantage of the things I have and the people in my life....and I hope I never end up in that place again. I'm going to do everything in my power to be content in the moment. To not be upset by the daily mole hills that I always seemed to turn into mountains. Believe it or not, I would let something as simple as dropping my hair brush ruin my day. Silly things had the potential to completely change my attitude for the worst.
Why? Well, mainly because of the larger issues going on that weren't being dealt with or resolved. That constant anger could be hidden when things were going well, but those little things that happen everyday...those were the things that wore me down. And once the ball started rolling, the little things started adding up, and slightly-annoyed Kiley turned into hurricane Kiley. I'm so ashamed of how I handled certain situations and conversations. However, I've apologized for the things I've done, and now, I'm looking to the present.
That's right. The present. I don't know if I'll be alive tomorrow. So, what's the point in telling myself that I'm going to be a better person from now on. How about just now? So, that's the plan. I choose to be happy. To try to make the most of each and every moment. I know it sounds really cliche, but life really is too short.
I'm going to enjoy it. :o)